Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Did my decision was been wrong?

Hello guys,it is Tuesday again.First of all i wanna to thank again to those who been commenting and send a very nice messages and also advice with me.As a new blogger here but not so totally new.My blog here it is all about happening in my life,everyday ,tomorrow,yesterday,before,last time.Today,i am doing laundry,first my auntie make a laundry with there clothes then i am helping too.Then,after that i am laundrying my many dirty clothes i been finished almost 4 pm here at Philippines.While i am doing visited many sites here at EC i been thinking what i need to post here tonight.Any way,this blog is about my life is full up and down.Regarding about problems,is not financially i been always thinking and also i been always thinking did my decision was been wrong?From the beginning,before we been meeting my hubby in person i been sharing with him all my background that i am a working student,work as a housemaid,very poor family,i am the eldest out of 4 brothers and one sister,my father was been accident,so because father was been accident we having problem finnacial as this time and while i am studying my little salary i supposed to give them and about my personality i am tanned and having spots of my leegs so meaning i am not flawless,not good looking face,simple and conservative.Then,my hubby was been told me he is not poor,he is not rich he is normal and having good job at newspaper,he was said too he don't care all about my background he wanted a nice woman, kind,fit,slim.I don't want to shared this with you all but i want to express my deeply feeling about my situation now i am marrying a Norwegian man but is not easy!You know why much people thinking if we are marrying foreign man they are thinking we had much money.I am talking now about this did my decision was wrong?From we been meeting to my hubby at first time we been visiting at mountain to my family.Then,this time we been talking my mother and she was said she don't like him then i been shocked and realizing why?Until the time my hubby was decided to marry with me and prupose only at chat,then i been agreed and was said yes,why not!Until he was back here at Philippines on june 2008 to marry with me.Hubby wanted only simple wedding not much people and we are budgeting about money.The tradition here at Phils,much food to prepared because much people will attend.We been quarel to my mother about budgeting she was not agreed to the money i was giving here for food at mountain it's because she think is not enough and i been crying and hubby worried and he decided the money for food at mountain must better to save it and maybe can used it for everything for food ,medicine and for connect power but mother was said she was already inviting for many relatives and neighbors for this ocassion so the party at mountain continued and they was using those only money and they can do budgeting.And while many months from we been married,no more changed my situation now and hubby supporting for only with me.But because the sitaution of my family needed, i shared the little transferring with them and it is not enough with them.They think now hubby is very cheaped man.Because only little transferring i got.Last time,we been talking about those filipina girl married foreigner and mother she was compared that why this woman can do connect electricity power,buy a lot and making house,then they can recieve much money.And she said,i told you before that she don't like my hubby.She thinks that my hubby is cheap man.She blame with me must better i did not marry with him,must better i marry as like with me filipino it's becuase it is the same my situation now.Then,i been crying last day when we been quarell again and talk about financial,and she was said again must better i am marrying filipino,but we have nothing can do now because i am already with him.She blame with me that i am wrong to marry my hubby and i did not listening with her before and she said too she did not believe to my hubby.And i'd always thinking now,what i been wrong?It's because i marry a norwegian man then he is cheap?Did i am wrong to decide to chose him as my partner!Yeah,he is older than with me and also to my parents.Did i am doing wrong that i been following my real feeling with him.!He is only man i been meeting about relationship and what is the wrong i decided?I know age doesn't matter but why my mother do this to me?Even mother do this with me but she still my mother.Sometimes i can answer with her then she thinks that i am changing now,so i just keep only my words not to answer with her.And i am only crying,every night i will be crying thinking all about this blaming,blaming.Sorry i having writed here some hurtly words but this is what happened with me now.Is not easy to fall in love to foreign man.As my experiences now it's very difficult.Happy Tuesday guys.